Jean therapy

Your favourite pair of jeans – the ones that made your bum look absolutely fabulous and fit perfectly in just the right spots – decided to fail you in life by ripping in the most awkward area. Not a ‘I’m so cool because I’m a hipster and don’t care if there’s a hole in my jeans’ kind of hole but the kind that makes them unwearable. Seriously, the jeans that you have depended on for the last few years have finally let you down. Now you have to spend the next month or so trying to find another pair that are equally as amazing so you can make them your go-to item of clothing. So you shop around and you quickly get frustrated because jeans are a staple in your wardrobe and you feel the need to fill the void. You keep trying on pairs but nothing fits quite right – some are too saggy around the bum, pulling around the thighs or just a few inches too short for you (I mean if you can’t wear heels with your jeans, then what’s the point?).

You finally end up taking home the first pair of jeans that kind of look okay and are on sale because, really, you need a pair of jeans in life. You start wearing the pair to break them in and immediately regret your decision. They just don’t quite fit right. I mean they do the job, I suppose, of what pants are suppose to do – keep you warm and make look good. But still, there’s something off about them. You wear them for a little awhile until you realize it’s just not working for you. Then you remember you didn’t actually throw your favourite pair of jeans away. You kept them in your closet...just in case. You take them out, put them on and remember all the good times you had in them. Suddenly, you see your old pair of jeans in a whole new light because in comparison, it seems to be the better choice. But can you really pull off wearing them again? Will your friends judge you for wearing a holey, torn pair of jeans. I mean, if you stitch it up just right then maybe, just maybe, you can make it work. Or should give these new pair of jeans a fair chance. Maybe if you wear them just a little longer, they'll begin to stretch out a bit and fit to the contours of your body like the other pair that you got so used to did.

Relationships are like a pair of jeans in that way. Good ones are hard to find. You can try hundreds of pairs and even then you often settle. But if you do find the perfect pair, give them a little TLC. Read the cleaning care/laundry labels and handle with care because when it's right, do your best to keep 'em intact.

By the way, random analogies - it's a thing. ^L

Stretch in your Step

"Oh, they're just so comfy"
"I can do anything in them"
"It makes me feel like I'm not wearing anything"

Seriously girls, we've heard it all. Leggings are NOT a substitute for pants. No one (that's right, no one), not even your mother or significant other wants to see you in something that looks like another layer of skin that you've developed. Leggings are comfy, I'll admit it, but they're meant for super long tops or dresses - it doesn't matter how fit you are or how trendy you think you look.

And if you really really just can't give up the idea of having skin tight bottoms with an inappropriate top - well, then buy a pair of skinny jeans (NOT legging jeans or jeggings as they're affectionately referred to). A jean means there are at least 4 pockets (normal = 5 pockets, but we can let it slide) - and there's stretch in them too. But you know the main difference? They're actually meant to be pants! Who would've thought?

Moral of the story? Leggings as pants? Definitely not a thing (ps. it never was a thing to begin with). ^K

You call that a raise?

It's here. The day you've been dreading and highly anticipating at the same time: your financial review.

You're pumped because you believe that you will finally be recognized and rewarded for all of the long hours and terrific work you've done. You let your imagination go a bit wild - the thought of new brakes for your car, that all inclusive vacation and winter boots that don't leak - all seem within reach.

But then it happens. Your nightmare - your raise is minimal and well below the industry average for your position. You've had enough. You vowed to yourself that you wouldn't cave and that it's finally time to stand up for yourself. So what do you do? You negotiate. It's funny how university was supposed to prepare students for their career lives ahead. But when did they ever teach how to negotiate?

People in the early to mid twenties are the worst at this because they don't know what they're worth. You may not be married with two kids, a minivan or have a mortgage, but this doesn't mean you don't deserve to make less. If you don't feel respected through your compensation, it's time to move on and find a company that will. Giving yourself the respect you deserve is a thing. Staying at an underpaid job for too long because you're afraid to ask for more - not a thing  ^B

Single by the numbers

When talking to my single friends, we have the same question: why is it so hard to find a normal guy? And we're not even talking about finding a boyfriend – just a decent looking guy who isn’t a complete dumbass. (Because here’s a secret boys, that’s all we want, plus the ability to start and hold a normal, non-awkward conversation). Most guys would say we're being picky but I know the real reason why it's so damn hard.

Similar to the math done in 'How I Met Your Mother', let’s take a sample pool of a hundred guys in Vancouver. We’ll say half of them are too old or too young, so we’re left with 50 guys. Of the 50 guys, I’d say half of the guys are in relationships...so we’re down to 25. Of these 25 guys, 10 are gay, now there are 15 eligible men to choose from. But wait, of these so-called eligible men, 14 of them are either too short, huge douchebags and/or tools, guys that we’re just not attracted to or all of the above. Moral of the story is that we’re left with ONE guy and there are 10 other single girls in Vancouver fighting for him. Single by the numbers, it’s a thing. But I have no idea how to fix this so if you have a solution that doesn’t involve importing men from Fort Mac (where the ratio is about 50 guys to 1 girl), please do share. ^L

The quarter life crisis

When I was younger I had it all figured out. I was going to have a successful career, get married, have three babies and live happily ever after – all before the age of 30. I’m 25 now, so I’m pretty sure that isn’t going to happen (especially due to my incessant need to date juice-boxes). It seemed liked we all grew up with this notion that it was the thing to do: get a degree and become a responsible adult. But somewhere along the way, this ‘plan’ got messed up. For whatever reason, we’re no longer under the societal pressures of having to figure out life by 25. Maybe it’s a good thing because we aren’t settling for an unfulfilling/mediocre job or that we’re not marrying the first guy/girl who is just kind of okay (or that knocks us up?) But we also now have this new void to fill – if we’ve pushed getting married/having babies or delving into a successful career to later in life, then what the hell are we supposed to be doing now and what’s supposed to make us feel like we’ve accomplished something so we feel satisfied or happy? What are the new standards in which we’re supposed to live by? So starts the quarter life crisis. 

Unfortunately, being 25 and all, my life is still in flux and currently in a quarter life crisis (like many of my friends). The quarter life crisis is a hot topic of discussion and sees us often contemplating and second-guessing every major decision we’ve made from the day we turned 19 including what we majored in and our current job situation to who we’re dating and moving out in life. We’re at an awkward in-between stage where we feel like we’re on the brink of being grown-ups and maybe should push forward into adulthood but still feel like we’re being held back by our youth. But here's the thing, we often forget that we’re still young and don’t need to know exactly where we’ll be in 10 years because WE HAVE TIME. When in doubt, the ‘Rachel’ math comes into play (you know what I’m talking about, from Friends when Rachel turns 30?) Work backwards from the age you want to have life figured out so you can determine when you have to start worrying about it and hopefully, like me, you realize that you have at least 3-4 years before you need to freak out.

Moral of the story, the quarter life crisis is totally a thing and while it may feel like everybody around you has settled into adulthood, know that there are many of us out there still trying to figure out our shit. As long as you’re making proactive steps towards what you want/what makes you happy; you’re not remaining stagnant in a place of indifference, holding onto things because they’re comfortable (whether it be a person or job) and constantly challenging yourself with new things, then you’ll be just fine. So, make mistakes, take chances and get messy (bonus points if you know where that's from) because life will work itself out. ^L

The little things

Life's milestone's tend to come out of no where. Birthdays - those sneaky little buggers - have a way of blindsiding you, even though you've been preparing yourself for 365 days. It's the same every year: too much drinking, a terrible hangover (you really aren't that young anymore), and then a mini-anxiety attack thinking about all of the goals that you (or your parents or society) has set that remain unfulfilled. 

Relax. This happens to everyone (and yes, I know you've heard it before).

This year, instead of freaking out over what hasn't happened yet, take a minute to look back at what you've accomplished. You may not be in your ideal career path, but what skills and experiences have you been working on and gained? Did you finally make it up the Grouse Grind or read those books that have been propping up your computer monitor? 

They may be the little things, but it's the little victories that lead to triumph. Freaking out over life's possibilities? Not a thing. But rewarding yourself for mastering the realistic ones? It's a thing. ^B

You're trifling

The awkward small talk about everything in life, but really nothing at all; the contemplation of whether or not this ‘thing’ between you two will go any further; the contingency plan you’ve devised with your friend to call you with an ‘emergency’ at 8:07 pm (because 8pm on the dot would be way too obvious); the excuses you make up in your head just in case you really can’t stand the guy. First dates, oh what fun times. Well, they should be fun times – at least in the beginning anyway. But the problem is that we’ve been dating for so many years now that it’s become the same old thing every single time. We assume that these dates will involve a standard coffee/drinks and/or some sort of food situation and will be altogether pretty uneventful (except for the whole should I/shouldn't I go up to his apartment debate which is always fun). In this day and age, we don’t expect any sort of grand gesture; in fact if the guy doesn’t have any strange habits and is relatively normal, it’s considered a success. All of which is very, well, underwhelming.

Whatever happened to a bit of chivalry? A girl wants to be courted damnit! Actually putting some thought into it, buying some flowers and perhaps not expecting to get some at the end (which by the way according to a recent survey, three quarters of Canadian men say they’re often or somewhat romantic – of these guys one out of five admits his top motivation is sex - thanks boys) Anyway, I digress. How about going that extra mile to impress a girl so much that she can’t help but fall head over heels for you. That happens in real life, right? I’m not saying that millions of dollars need to be spent – all we’re asking for is a little planning and thought. Not just ‘let’s call/text each other back and forth 10 million times during the day of to figure out what we’re going to do’; asking ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do’ or’ suggesting ‘why don’t we go to your house and you can cook me dinner’ (true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine).

No wonder we think chivalry is dead. A friend of a friend (yes, I have a lot of those) came up with a theory to why, at least in Vancouver, chivalry is not a thing. The single guys in Vancouver take us for granted. They know that there are about ten amazing women for every guy here and are beginning to catch on to the fact that they really don’t need to try that hard to impress us. So maybe it’s on us to demand a little bit more from them. Turn the tables and not just be impressed by the fact that a guy is somewhat mentally stable and has no awkward facial hair. And to the boys out there,  we’re not asking for much – pick a restaurant, make a reservation for the best seats in the house; don’t play stupid games; call us/email us back within a reasonable timeframe – anything to make us feel like you care or that you’re thinking about us. Let’s work together to revive chivalry and make it a thing again.  ^L