You're trifling

The awkward small talk about everything in life, but really nothing at all; the contemplation of whether or not this ‘thing’ between you two will go any further; the contingency plan you’ve devised with your friend to call you with an ‘emergency’ at 8:07 pm (because 8pm on the dot would be way too obvious); the excuses you make up in your head just in case you really can’t stand the guy. First dates, oh what fun times. Well, they should be fun times – at least in the beginning anyway. But the problem is that we’ve been dating for so many years now that it’s become the same old thing every single time. We assume that these dates will involve a standard coffee/drinks and/or some sort of food situation and will be altogether pretty uneventful (except for the whole should I/shouldn't I go up to his apartment debate which is always fun). In this day and age, we don’t expect any sort of grand gesture; in fact if the guy doesn’t have any strange habits and is relatively normal, it’s considered a success. All of which is very, well, underwhelming.

Whatever happened to a bit of chivalry? A girl wants to be courted damnit! Actually putting some thought into it, buying some flowers and perhaps not expecting to get some at the end (which by the way according to a recent survey, three quarters of Canadian men say they’re often or somewhat romantic – of these guys one out of five admits his top motivation is sex - thanks boys) Anyway, I digress. How about going that extra mile to impress a girl so much that she can’t help but fall head over heels for you. That happens in real life, right? I’m not saying that millions of dollars need to be spent – all we’re asking for is a little planning and thought. Not just ‘let’s call/text each other back and forth 10 million times during the day of to figure out what we’re going to do’; asking ‘I don’t know, what do you want to do’ or’ suggesting ‘why don’t we go to your house and you can cook me dinner’ (true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine).

No wonder we think chivalry is dead. A friend of a friend (yes, I have a lot of those) came up with a theory to why, at least in Vancouver, chivalry is not a thing. The single guys in Vancouver take us for granted. They know that there are about ten amazing women for every guy here and are beginning to catch on to the fact that they really don’t need to try that hard to impress us. So maybe it’s on us to demand a little bit more from them. Turn the tables and not just be impressed by the fact that a guy is somewhat mentally stable and has no awkward facial hair. And to the boys out there,  we’re not asking for much – pick a restaurant, make a reservation for the best seats in the house; don’t play stupid games; call us/email us back within a reasonable timeframe – anything to make us feel like you care or that you’re thinking about us. Let’s work together to revive chivalry and make it a thing again.  ^L