The Art of Subtexting

You'd think with our six million ways of communicating, we would be better at it, right? Sadly no. Think back to a world without caller ID, text messages and online chats (I know...crazy, right?). We actually had to pick up the phone when it rang and face the fact it could be the very person we are trying to avoid. But nowadays we spend so much time avoiding these calls and contemplaing seemingly appropriate responses via text or email that we very rarely actually say what we mean or feel at that very moment. Instead, we think about what we want to say and the perfect way to say it for a week and then respond. Maybe it's because we feel a need to sugarcoat things so we don't end up as the bad guy; or maybe it's because we are constantly trying to figure how best to word things to get exactly what you want. Whatever the reason, you'd think with all the thought that goes into a single text message that what we are trying to say becomes a clear and concise '140 character or less message', right? Unfortunately no, it has just become more confusing, dripping with subtext than ever before.

As a result, we've entered a world where we sit there analyzing a text message for all possible subtext. We don't take anything for face value. And no, in this game of #crazyornormal, I swear I'm not the only one. According to my research (which was done very scientifically, I assure you), we all do it. But don't worry your pretty little heads, we don't analyze every single text message we receive -- sometimes 'hey, how's it going' just means 'hey, how's it going'. But pair that up with maybe not having seen a certain someone for a month or two, we begin to wonder 'why are they texting me now' and 'what do they want' or as my friends like to decipher this particular subtext as 'booty call'. Regardless of what your friends try to adamantly convince you of, you carefully craft a response which asks 'what do you want' just to make sure it doesn't mean that perhaps this certain someone has come to their senses (without actually asking it of course) and thus keeping this neverending circle of confusing text messages alive.

My only brilliant solution to all of this? All important conversations should be done the old fashioned way: in person and with a lot of drinks (what works better than to put whatever you need out there than a little bit of liquid courage? Of course though, this only applies if both parties are involved as drunk texting/dialing is not a thing). But as I know firsthand, it's not always easy to have a 'let's talk about real issues', face-to-face conversation with somebody and to be put on the spot; so until we stop trying to have these confrontations over text messages and emails, the art of subtexting sadly will continue to be a thing. ^L